The Power of Fragility

Truth is, I don’t do illness well. I’m a terrible patient, and even worse nurse (my poor husband ). I hate the whole helpless and icky stuff that happens when you’re sick. And I hate having to go slower and (horror of horrors) ask someone to help me. Then there’s the whole ‘rest and recuperate’ saga which just feels like agony.

I hurt my back a couple of weeks ago so I’ve been having another round of bad patient experiences. Nothing dramatic happened - I just zigged when I clearly should have zagged. I was pretty dramatic about how much it hurt though. I was secretly scared that it would just keep getting worse. And I wondered how people cope with continuously having this level of pain.

Then it started to get better and I became a different person. I had lots of other stuff to focus on and the pain faded to a speck in my memory.

I am in awe of the human body - how it can be so fragile and powerful at the same time. I am also so grateful that everything is temporary. Whatever the crappy stuff is, a day will come when it starts to fade. Then I get to decide whether to let it go or make it bigger and badder through my thoughts and the stories I tell to others.

I know more pain will come. I also know it’ll go again. And that good stuff will come and go too. I’m ok with that.